Harem Pants and Weird Thoughts

So, I was actually productive for the past two days. I made a pair of harem pants! If you don’t know what they are, google it. They are the comfiest, baggiest things ever. They probably make me a little too happy but whatever. I made them from scratch. In two days. Out of jacquard. I have earned it. You try making pants out of slippy fabric and tell me how it goes.

That aside, I’ve been thinking about a lot. Please pardon me if this becomes a stream of consciousness. I just…I don’t know. I feel like my brain is moving at 1,000 miles an hour and the rest of me can’t keep up. It’s frustrating. I have a ton of ideas pop into my head but then they all just whiz right out. I have a writing notebook and I’ve been working on a story in there for about a year. I know where I want it to go and all but I can’t get it there. And, a lot of things have been like that lately for me. I can see what I want to get to and what I want to do, but I don’t know how to get there. I’m starting to lose my motivation to do stuff. It makes me a little worried.

I’m only 19; I can’t lose my motivation now. I can’t afford to lose it. I don’t think any young adult can. Most people don’t take young adults seriously. I mean, we’re technically speaking adults but we don’t really know much of anything and we still need help. When we try to make decisions and do things on our own, we get resistance rather than guidance. I think that can be the most frustrating thing of all, at least for me. I want to get better at taking care of myself and figuring things out but how can I do that if every choice I make is undone or chosen for me?

Okay, stream of consciousness is over. It’s time for this girl to curl up in bed before class tomorrow.

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